Moving On
I have blotted out, as a thick cloud, thy transgressions, and, as a cloud, thy sins: return unto me; for I have redeemed thee. Isaiah 44:22
I moved a whopping 10 miles a couple of years ago. I had the blessing of a very leisurely move, as we didn’t sell the house we were moving from. So, I made the wise choice to only move stuff as I needed it. Turns out, I didn’t need most of that stuff. I started my life in my new house unburdened with many of the stuff that kept me busy before. It was incredibly freeing, and I realized that I didn’t really need much ‘stuff’ at all.
In my spiritual life, I spent a lot of time carrying around old stuff that I didn’t need anymore. As a sinner, saved by grace, we can count on the sins of our past being forgiven and forgotten. Unfortunately, I committed many grievous sins after my salvation, and I struggled with guilt from them. I hid them from everyone, unconvinced that even after repenting and returning to living a more acceptable Christian life, that I was somehow dirty and of less use to a perfect God. I thought if I could just keep everything concealed that I would be acceptable to my Christian friends, and somehow to God. I carried the thoughts of them with me, and protected that knowledge like a criminal afraid of being caught.
A funny thing happened, though. Once I really surrendered my entire life to Him unconditionally and whole-heartedly, I understood in a new way how much He loves me. Me! Not, the world, not ‘everyone who comes to Him’. Me… He loves me, warts and all, sins and all, and wants a relationship with me that is far deeper than a ‘saving’ relationship. He created me, and knows me to the core. He understands all my fears and worries, all my failings and sorrows. And more than than, He desires to teach me how to live a life that not only makes me happier, but brings Him glory.
In that moment of surrender, I realized two things simultaneously: both the depth of my sins and the totality of God’s love for me. When I was saved as a youth, I knew I needed Him in a basic sense, and that I wanted Him in my life… but, I wanted Him as a Savior, I wasn’t ready to have Him as a friend, a confidant, a Lord, a King, the lover of my soul. And, I went for years, not really understanding the depth that was available to us, when we’re ready to experience it. He knows us intimately, and if we want to, we can know Him as well, but we have to desire that relationship to grow. We must draw near to Him, He’s right there waiting for us.
Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded. James 4:8
Are you hanging on to guilt for sins from your past? As a Christian, if you’ve repented of them, He has removed them as far as the east is from the west. He’s forgotten them, but if we allow the enemy to do so, we can carry the guilt of them around with us and allow it to keep us from serving God to our fullest. On the other hand, admitting and surrendering that guilt to God, can give us freedom that is unparalleled.
As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us. Psalm 103:12
Trust Him, with everything. With all of those secret things that you’ve been hiding, even from Him. His love is deeper than we can comprehend, and He is waiting to take every burden you carry and allow you to live a life more abundant than you can imagine. It’s time to move on to a better life in Christ.
