Understood

But if any man love God, the same is known of him. 1 Corinthians 8:3

I never know what will prompt a blog post… Being a musician at heart (and by training) I wake up every morning ready to listen to good music. Lately, I have been allowing my phone app to select a playlist for me and asking God to speak to me through song. Recently, I was surprised by a song I had never heard: “Known” by Tauren Wells. Tauren is an incredible vocalist, but it was the words of this particular song that gave me pause:

I'm fully known and loved by You
You won't let go no matter what I do
And it's not one or the other
It's hard truth and ridiculous grace
To be known fully known and loved by You
I'm fully known and loved by You

The lyrics moved me. Isn’t that what we all long for - to be fully “known”? I love the truth that God shows us grace, but He also pushes us to face the ‘hard truth’ about ourselves. The song lead me to search the scriptures for references of God’s intimate knowledge of us. There are many, and they are all beautiful, but Psalm 139 was the one that spoke to me the most this week. Now, intellectually, I’ve always understood that our Heavenly Father completely knows us. But, it has recently become far more real to me. As I have been drawn closer to Him, I’ve been thinking on some of the larger sinful mistakes I have made. Knowing that these are cast as far as the east is from the west is such a comfort. The gravity of the sins of my past doesn’t haunt me as much as it makes me marvel at the love of God. I love my children unconditionally, I hope they won’t make huge mistakes, and I’ll love them even if they do… but, God knew every mistake I was going to make… and loved me even before I was born, loved me while I was being formed in my mother’s womb. Truly understanding the depth of love He has for us, may be beyond our feeble human minds’ ability to comprehend.

139 O lord, thou hast searched me, and known me. 2 Thou knowest my downsitting and mine uprising, thou understandest my thought afar off. 3 Thou compassest my path and my lying down, and art acquainted with all my ways. 4 For there is not a word in my tongue, but, lo, O Lord, thou knowest it altogether.

As humans, we rarely feel truly understood. Personally, sharing my innermost thoughts with others is tough. First of all, it makes me feel very vulnerable to let people into my thoughts and my past. There are a lot of choices that I made, that were just plain bad, and the consequences of them still affect me today. And, my ability to share verbally is limited. The words won’t come. I have a deep desire to share my thoughts and feelings about things, but when it comes down to it, I just can’t get the words out. I think that probably even people who are better communicators than me, still feel like others don’t understand them. Just the first 4 verses of this Psalm speak of the depth to which God understands us. Verse 3 says he surrounds us, and is familiar with all our ways. When I try to hide my failings from my friends and family, He knows. He already knew before it occurred to me to hide what I did (or failed to do).

5 Thou hast beset me behind and before, and laid thine hand upon me. 6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high, I cannot attain unto it. 7 Whither shall I go from thy spirit? or whither shall I flee from thy presence?

Surrounded, guided, cared for because He knows intimately who we are. David acknowledges that even actually understanding this fully is above the efforts of our feeble minds. He is with us, regardless of our physical, spiritual, or mental state. We can rest easy knowing that He is always there.

8 If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there. 9 If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea; 10 Even there shall thy hand lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me. 11 If I say, Surely the darkness shall cover me; even the night shall be light about me. 12 Yea, the darkness hideth not from thee; but the night shineth as the day: the darkness and the light are both alike to thee.

As a child of God, there is no where we can go, wander, or find ourselves that we are out of His reach, or outside His presence.

13 For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother's womb. 14 I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well. 15 My substance was not hid from thee, when I was made in secret, and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. 16 Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect; and in thy book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them.

The word reins in verse 13 eluded me. I was thinking horse reins which made no sense to my brain. Evidently, it actually means “kidneys” which to the Hebrew people meant the “innermost being” Basically, God understands us because He was there and involved in our very creation. He formed us in our mother’s womb. The human body is amazing in it’s own right, but God understood far more than how to form us. He understands the “essence” of who we are, all of our mistakes, our triumphs, our sorrows, and our joys… He understood this before we were, and still He loves us and wants us to love Him.

For me, to consider the love God has for us, is baffling. We as humans are at once totally unnecessary to, and completely wanted by the being that created our entire universe with a spoken word. He loves us with a perfect love, and wants us to understand and love Him, but in His ultimate perfection, allows us to make the choice as to whether or not we seek a relationship with our Creator. It’s equally confusing to me, now that I have entered into this personal relationship with His Son, why anyone would refuse the depths of peace and joy freely available to anyone who seeks Him with their whole heart.

Psalm 139 has been in my heart all week. To read through it and see how David describes God’s intimate knowledge of us is so affirming. I have made many poor choices in life, and still struggle to win the war with my flesh, as all of us do. But, we have the God of the Universe on our side. We have an advocate in Christ Jesus, and we have the indwelling of the Holy Spirit to lead us through this life. How can we not live every day full of joy and hope?